Mom, the flag, Chevrolet and apple pie? Well no, our fourth of July wasn't totally filled with the usual wholesome pursuits. But it was pretty funny...
First we spent our Friday night at the local casino. Our current bad habit. The casino gives and the casino takes away. This particular night it wasn't even pretending to be nice. It took and took and took. At least the band was good. So I eventually gave up the idea that I was going to get some of my money back and I went over by the bar to enjoy the music. Normally I dress pretty conservatively, but that particular night I was wearing a tank top that showed a decent amount of cleavage. So I'm minding my own business enjoying the music and some guy comes by and asks me to dance. Well I'll tell you a secret. Dawns don't dance. At least this one doesn't. Never learned how. Didn't know the guy. Too darn introverted to even consider it unless I had had a few drinks, which I hadn't. So I said, "no thanks, I don't dance." He started to argue, I declined again and that's when I noticed that he was full out staring at my chest. That's when he asked me, 'are they yours?" Huh? Are you freaking serious? This guy is actually asking me if my boobs are real. OK this is where I probably should have done the shocked look a la Miss Manners and said something like, "why on earth would you ask such a thing." But I was kind of shocked so I just blurted out, "of course they're real." "No they're not," he says. Well that's when my fight or flight instinct, which pretty much always ends up being flight, got the hell out of there and texted Richard that it was time to go home. In retrospect I missed a few really good scathing comebacks though:
"No, they're cement."
"No, I'm just holding on to them for somebody."
"No, I'm just the world's most believable drag queen."
Sheesh...
On the fourth itself, my sister Wendy and brother-in-law Scott were coming by for dinner, swimming and strawberry pie. I made my chicken casserole, the one that mom had gotten from my sister and I got from mom. I know, you're supposed to barbecue on the Fourth, but I was in the mood for casserole. So there! We had a cooler full of drinks out on the patio, but I could have saved myself the trouble. You see, Scott has recently taken up a new profession as a bartender and had brought drinks. Blue curacao, vodka, gin, tequila, rum and sprite. For the record, I don't drink often, so I'm a total lightweight. So we swam, we ate, we joked about old times and we drank. Well the one really annoying thing about me and drinking is that after a few drinks, my face turns red. Also, my sister is really good with the comebacks. So anyway, I walked into the bathroom and saw that my face had turned a lovely shade of red. When I got back outside, I commented that that was the one thing I hated about drinking, my face turning red like that. So my sister says to me, "red face, your legs are white and your bathing suit is blue. Happy Fourth of July." I haven't laughed so hard in ages.
I thought I'd share the casserole recipe for anybody who thinks they might like it. All measurements are approximate, sorry.
One large can (16 oz) of tomatoes
One can of cream of mushroom soup
One can of cream of celery soup
One small can of corn
One small can of sliced olives
One small can of green chiles
Corn tortillas
Lots of grated cheese
6 - 8 chicken breasts
Bake the chicken until it's cooked and then cut or tear into bite sized chunks. Mix all the canned items together in a large bowl (referred to as glop from here on out). Then, in a large casserole (3 quart?), start layering:
One layer of tortillas, torn into bite sized chunks,until the bottom of the casserole is covered. One layer of chicken. One layer of glop. One layer of cheese. Now repeat, tortillas, chicken, glop,cheese.
Bake at 345 for about 45 minutes, or until cheese is melted and contents are bubbling.
PS it works pretty well with turkey too!
Yum. :-)
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